Let's flash back to year 7 shall we? I was a bit chubby, a little chunky in places and a bit bumpy in others. I have always been a small person, but that dreaded 'puppy fat' you had when you were younger didn't half take a toll on your school photos. Don't even get me started. Sadly I can't show you a photo of me in year 7 (with uniform) because you may hunt me down and stalk me, because I'm just so irresistible (I kid, I kid).
In all seriousness, this is me on 11th July 2011...
Not the most flattering photo of me I will say. This was the year that I felt like I had to be/act a certain way to fit in...I felt like I had to be a different me. It's as if there was a me for social groups, and then a me for myself and my family.
In year 8 I started to like myself more. I liked that I had brown hair and that I was short. I liked the me I was... until year 9 came around.
Year 9 came around fast. I was out of the main doors in July and was sauntering back through them 2 months later (if only summer would last three months). This was the year I really found what made me more confident. Make-up. I don't, nor will I ever, rely on make-up to keep my confidence on a steady ground. I just felt like I could hold my head high with rosy cheeks and a bit of clear gloss. Don't ask...it was a bad step into the make-up industry...oops? Year 9 was also when I started drifting from a friend. Me thinking that it was because I wasn't as tall as everyone else, or as pretty as, or as funny as... I basically felt like I was on a constant comparison scale...so I changed.
I changed my hair, my make-up, everything that made 'baby-face-Katie', baby-face-Katie, went out of the window. A fresh start, with a new me...great! Or so I thought...
I missed the old me. I missed the happy-go-lucky, optimistic Katie...I missed everything. I had changed my appearance to fit in...but with that, my personality changed, I became such a pessimist. I shut everyone off, ignored everyone, but not because I wanted to...because I was stuck in that mind set... my personality was ugly.
I am the type of person that will start saying something if the word 'ugly' has been dropped in a conversation. There is no such thing as ugly, except for ugly personalities. So it turns out I wasn't that much of an ugly duckling; I was kind to everyone I met, I was confident, I treated everyone with the same respect I expected in return. I guess you could say I used my noggin and realised that being an ugly duckling meant that you were horrible to people, that you talked at someone and not to them...you get where I'm going with this...
So next time the word 'ugly' is dropped in a conversation, remember me. Remember that as much as you may have a pretty face, it will never out run an ugly heart. If you don't want to be an ugly duckling, change the way you treat people. Change the opinions have of you. Change for the better. I know a person who doesn't have many friends, isn't liked by many, all because of the way she treats people...and I have a few people who agree with me on that.
You'll be fine...if you're feeling like a bit of an ugly duckling here's a comparison of me 3 years ago...and now. I don't look that bad now haha.
Thank you for reading,
I love you lots, like Jelly Tots,